Four conversations that should be had in a committed relationship
It’s common for communication to take a back seat in committed relationships, particularly in couples who have been together for a long time. While you may think you know your partner well enough to know what they need – and hope the same from them in return – it’s important to create space for honest conversations that’ll help you to better understand and meet each other’s needs.
Responding to one another in a supportive, accepting way with effective communication skills is the hallmark of a healthy relationship. Having the following key conversations will help your relationship to go from strength to strength.
Everyday routines
Many of us are familiar with the type of bickering that occurs between couples that live together, particularly when it comes to everyday routines and chore expectations. While it may seem basic, voicing your needs and expectations in this area, while also listening to your partner’s needs and expectations, can help to nip conflict in the bud before it even arises.
Uneven distribution of labor is one of the most common reasons couples report having arguments. It’s important to chat about who is expected to do what, and how often. If anything needs to change, you should communicate openly and honestly, and show one another compassion and understanding.
Approaches to conflict
People react to conflict differently, and knowing what to expect from your partner in these situations can help you to stay connected. For example, your partner may need time to themselves when facing conflict, while you may prefer to tackle the issue head-on as soon as it occurs. All responses are equally valid, but communicating how you feel and what you need from one another in those moments will help you to stay on the same page and work towards conflict resolution.
Intimacy needs
This isn’t just about physical intimacy, although sexual health is important too. Intimacy between couples can take a variety of forms – emotional, intellectual and spiritual, for example – and maintaining each of these can help to strengthen your bond and build deeper trust between you and your partner. Feeling intimately connected with your partner helps you both to be more vulnerable with one another, deepening and strengthening your bond in return.
Make sure to stay clued up on the types of intimacy and discuss how you can develop each of these with your partner, to feel more connected and fulfilled.
Boundary expectations
It’s important to set healthy boundaries in your relationship, and discussing these together ensures you’re both fully aware of what the other person is comfortable with. Boundaries can be put in place in all areas of your life, and your conversation shouldn’t just be limited to physical and emotional boundaries. Consider your time, finances, material belongings, and anything else that may need limits put in place – and then make sure your partner has the chance to discuss their needs, too.
Some boundaries we expect our partners to know, like the importance of asking for consent before engaging in physical intimacy. But other boundaries may be less obvious, and may be personal to you – so if you need a set amount of time to be by yourself after work, or have sentimental belongings you’d rather keep just for yourself, be sure to share that with your partner.
Communicating with compassion
Having these key conversations is important, but it’s not always easy.
Many couples seek the help of a third party, such as a mental health professional, to guide them through these topics together.
Whether you choose to talk in the presence of a therapist or have these chats alone, make sure you listen to your partner and show respect and empathy. When communicated sensitively, addressing these topics will help you strengthen your bond with your significant other.